While I am looking to go through a relatively large change and a conversion, I don't consider it exactly a big deal - yes, I am converting, but from one branch of Christianity to another. It's me seeking a branch that suits me - not the other way around, if that makes sense.
Of course, to other people I may seem like converting because it's a relatively big jump. While I recognize the upsides to being Southern Baptist, I'm becoming increasingly fed up with the downsides. I don't like the tendency to get 'cutesy' with themed Vacation Bible School and announcements, or even the sermons. I don't like that there is zero attention paid to Christian apologetics and thought unless it's been published after 1900 (or 1970, more often), and that's nearly 2000 years of stuff just completely ignored. And I dislike the role of women in the church - there are some churches with the tag Southern Baptist that are better than others, but the convention recently voted to not allow women ministers. And I very much am starting to consider being so loosely organized a downside, not an upside. It has its strengths, but it's gotten to the point where there is all the problems of beurocracy but none of the upsides of an organized canon/true structure/etc.
Mainly Southern Baptists are leaving a bad taste in my mouth because everything seems to have become
so damn commercial. I don't want to be flooded with the same media schlock I am constantly surrounded with, but with the 'Christian' label slapped on it; I really dislike when they try to gussie up the Gospel with the trappings of modern entertainment media. It has a place, and it may indeed reach out to some people, but I don't like the attitude that you aren't a true Christian unless you're wearing Christian-branded clothing, listening to Christian rock, part of a Christian youth organization that does no Bible study but an awful lot of ski trips, and have a Christian fish slapped on the back of your car.
I don't think isolating yourself in a bubble of Christian-branded things is helpful
or healthy. For one thing it is so often used as an excuse for the goods to be mediocre or overpriced - because you're some sort of heritic if you don't wholeheartedly like it. And although I understand the impulse of worried parents, I think it's a short-sighted view. Your children are not going to be forever under your wing. If you want them to be truly moral, you have to address it directly - and bring out the lessons that are not explicitly stated in movies, television, books, etc. to discuss them, even if it's as simple as "What do you think Harry Potter did wrong in book 6, and what do you think he did right?"
Similarly, there are little pockets of fundamentalism (or outright fundamentalism) in Southern Baptists because there is no set canon. And because of that, there is a generally anti-science attitude among most churches. For example, I know that even though he's a well respected member, some of the people at my (former) Southern Baptist church consider my dad a heretic for believing that dinosaurs existed and that the earth is quite old.
Basically, there's a strong anti-intellectual slant to Southern Baptism and as a scientifically-minded, intellectual person, I've gotten to where this just doesn't work anymore. There's little to no intellectual discussion of the Bible or Christian apologetics. While the newly converted or people with different minds may be able to exist on the spiritual equivalent of an all-mushy-oatmeal diet, I want some meat and potatoes.
It's hard finding a church without that anti-intellectual slant, honestly, but at least I want one that accepts the idea of Christian apologetics as a field. Right now I'm honestly considering Greek Orthodoxy. My sister is converting, and there is definitely a spirit of intellectual discussion within the church along with recognition of authors and tradition.
One thing I'm especially drawn to is the idea of 'holy mysteries'. This may sound a little strange, but as a scientifically-minded person, I am actually quite comfortable with the answer of "We don't know why". After all, if you add the phrase "but let's find out", you have the basis of science as a discepline. Although I'm miffed that, again, women cannot be priests, I am glad they are encouraged to do basicaly everything else but administer the sacrament (filling the role of what I think of as 'minister') - and I am a LOT happier with the answer of "We don't know why, but we assume it's a holy mystery and uphold the tradition" instead of somebody trying to spin bullshit from select Bible verses.
Honestly the cultural difference is what is holding me back. I feel almost as if I'm intruding on something when I attend a service, as if I don't really have a justification to be there. (It's an awkward feeling I'm pretty prone to. It's so hard internets being white, etc etc, but it is an awkward feeling now that I'm so aware of it, especially when it comes to India - but anyway, that's tangential.) My sister has an 'in' because her boyfriend is Orthodox, and she's looking to convert to be with him (and because it similarly meshes with her beliefs) - but I still feel awkward attending services, because I'd like to give her some space to be known as herself, not my sister, not my dad's daughter, etc.
I figure I'll sort it out in time. Putting church on hold seems to be a horrible thing to do but honestly I never have felt like fellowship was a cornerstone of my faith. I have my own relationship independant of God and while I very much would like to go participate as part of a group celebrating similar relationships, it is not as if not singing along with the crowd makes that relationship disappear or become invalid.
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